Friday, March 30, 2007

Immaculate Confection

Artist Cosimo Cavallaro has sculpted a naked 6-foot tall milk chocolate statue of Jesus. The sculpture was to debut Monday evening at the Lab Gallery inside Manhattan's Roger Smith Hotel, just four days before Christians mark the crucifixion of Jesus Christ on Good Friday.

Perhaps the Tom Waits song “Chocolate Jesus” inspired Cosimo.

Cavallaro’s artwork has upset many Catholics preparing for Holy Week.
"This is one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever," said Bill Donohue, head of the Catholic League, a watchdog group. "It's not just the ugliness of the portrayal, but the timing - to choose Holy Week is astounding."

I have to strongly agree with Mr. Donohue.

I think that Jesus should be immediately melted down in a double broiler.
Then, he should be poured over a giant bowl of Häagen-Dazs vanilla bean ice cream. Then, his holiness should be liberally covered with chopped nuts, sprinkles, whipped cream and a cherry on top.

Perhaps the Lord’s Day should be spelled Sundae!

Dig in!

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, March 29, 2007

This just in ...

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Never Forget

"One who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; one who does not ask a question remains a fool forever."

-Chinese Proverb

“If you're going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet.”

-Keith Richards

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Friday, March 16, 2007

Dumb Animals

Just past the small bridge adorned by stone dolphins reads a wooden sign:

“Welcome to Taiji."

Taiji-cho, a small coastal town of the Kinki region in Wakayama Prefecture on the main Japanese island of Honshu, is a prime location to conduct such “dolphin drive” operations. The town’s position at the tip of a peninsula jutting into the Pacific Ocean places it along the migratory paths of ocean mammals and Taiji’s Hatagiri Bay has been physically altered in size and depth to make it an ideal cove for driving in these pods.

Strangely enough, the water in Taiji Bay is not naturally red.
(CLICK the above picture to enlarge)

If you hear nothing else in this video below, remember this:

The Japanese fishermen are indiscriminate. They kill any species that approaches the coast. Many people have witnessed the killing of:

- Striped dolphins
- Bottlenose dolphins
- Pilot whales*
- Killer whales
- Melon-headed whales
- Risso dolphins

*The killing of pilot whales violates Japan's treaty obligations to 
the International Whaling Commission.

If you feel moved to do something, you can do so HERE





Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Find a Friend

First and foremost … Happy Birthday Mom!

The ASPCA was founded in 1866 as the first humane organization in the Western Hemisphere. The Society was formed to alleviate the injustices animals faced then, and they continue to battle cruelty today. Whether it’s saving a pet who has been accidentally poisoned, fighting to pass humane laws, rescuing animals from abuse or sharing resources with shelters across the country, they work toward the day in which no animal will live in pain or fear.

I had some trouble sleeping last night, so I slapped this piece together.

Become a member of the ASPCA, or go to one of their animal shelters and find a cat or dog who needs a good home.

Several years ago I adopted a nine-year-old tiger cat named Manhattan, and I love her with all my heart.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Where's the beef?

Advertising agencies are a lot like whores and strippers. They look for who is spending the money, and then they kneel down in front of them.

At some point in the 1990s advertisers woke up to the fact that women often spend money at a far greater rate than men do.

In a married household, it is often the woman who will buy the lion's share of the goods. From this point on, commercials often portrayed the wife as the "smart" consumer, and the husband as the dunderhead.

You see this theme repeated time and time again.

These commercials show these dull mouth-ajar husbands, with clever Marilyn-Vos-Savant wives who always seem to steer them in the right direction (toward the advertised product, of course)

If you have been watching TV lately, you might have seen the new Quiznos "real people" campaign. I think that Quiznos tried to follow this "speak to the woman" rule but they have perhaps gone too far.

If you want to see the whole :30 televised spot, it can be viewed in both QT and WMV (For the time being) on the official Quiznos web site.

I looked for this new :30 spot on, and found that Mark Harley has done a nice job of isolating the line in question.

I love the look on the other woman's face as she delivers that line.

I don't know about you, but I am headed to KFC right this minute to get a breast in my mouth ASAP!

If you play this video clip backwards, you can clearly hear her saying, "Satan is in the sandwich".

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

Monday, March 05, 2007

Just a heartbeat away from the Presidency

Late this morning, Vice President Dick Cheney experienced “mild calf discomfort” sometime after delivering a speech to the Veterans of Foreign Wars and visited his doctor’s office at George Washington University.

An ultrasound revealed a deep venous thrombosis, a blood clot, in the lower part of his left leg.

The danger from deep venous thrombosis is that a piece of the clot can break off, travel with the blood and lodge as an embolus in a lung to damage the organ or cause sudden death.

My heart goes out to the big sensitive lug, and I know just the place for him to receive top notch treatment for this life threatening condition.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Not with Bill's penis ... and Al pushing.

I have mentioned what I think of Ann Coulter again and again on this blog.

I can say with absolute certainty that if I witnessed her have a major car crash, I would happily sit by and watch her slowly bleed to death.*

In the past, Ann has called Bill Clinton "gay".

She once even called Al Gore a "fag".

Now this:

There is no doubt in my mind, that if all women looked like Ann Coulter, there would be many more gay men on this planet.*

Do you get the feeling that Ann is jealous of all married men?

What is that sound I hear?

Is it the sound of Ann Coulter's uterus drying up like a shriveled apricot?*

Well ... At least we don't ever have to worry about offspring.

(* I know that this post is rife with tasteless, sexist, and downright cold remarks, but when it comes to Ann Coulter the gloves come off bitch.**)

(** My apologies go out to all the female dogs that I have offended)

Labels: , , , , , , , ,

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Stay in School Kids

This was released in the same year that I was.

1970 Baby!

Somebody was baked for the making of this PSA, and I am pretty sure that it wasn't the cameraman.

Now I feel like glade skiing.

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,