Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Beam him up Mr. Sulu!

You can often count on George Takei for a laugh.

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Did you bring enough for the whole class?

The FDA recently ordered manufacturers of Ritalin, Adderall, Strattera and all other ADHD drugs to warn patients that ADHD drugs carry serious health risks, including sudden death.

The alerts also cover psychiatric problems, such as hearing voices, unfounded suspicions and manic behavior.

The good news is that dead children DO tend to sit still in class.

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Monday, February 19, 2007

Shear Madness

Am I the only one who thinks that this is truly pathetic?

The general public and the media spend so much of their time worried about this girl (Pictured below) shaving her head, because she has no idea what to do with her life.

At the same time, we spend almost no time worried about brave little girls like Eloise (Pictured below) who are losing all their hair because they are fighting for theirs.

Don’t buy the Star magazine, and send the money here instead.

Britney Spears is now reported to be worth 120 million dollars. If she wanted to bring real meaning to her life, she could do so by affecting the lives of thousands of others.

I won’t hold my breath.

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Sunday, February 18, 2007

Going down under?

What has Ralph Fiennes been up to these days?

Well ... Last week, the star of "The English Patient" and "Schindler's List" was caught leaving the same airplane lavatory as a 38-year-old Qantas flight attendant Lisa Robertson (Pictured below) during a long-haul flight, according to a report in the British paper The Sunday Telegraph.

Apparently Ralph was looking for some extra frequent flyer miles and his membership card into the "mile-high" club.

Last year, Fiennes ended his 10-year relationship with actress Francesca Annis after her discovery of his affair with 31-year-old Romanian singer Cornelia Crisan.

This recent tryst has sent sexuality experts into a tizzy. Some of them are now wondering if the actor may be exhibiting the signs of compulsive sexual behavior.

In my humble opinion, everybody needs to seriously lighten up.

I say “Good on ya Ralph … Good on ya mate!”

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day

“Use the love formula. Add up the number of times that you think about the lady each day. Subtract from the total the number of times you think about yourself each day. If the remainder is more lady, and less yourself, then it's love.”

“Oh, I've been thinking about her a lot lately.”

“What's so very neat about this particular formula is that "a lot" plugs into it beautifully.”

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

Good things don't always come from waiting

When I was a little boy, every Halloween was a chance to amass a giant bag of chocolate and candies. However, with a little orange cardboard box in hand, it also was an opportune chance to collect money for UNICEF.

I have always thought that UNICEF is one of the best charitable organizations in the world. Essentially the main focus of Unicef is the safety and well being of children all around the globe.

Take a moment to think about this. Every day, worldwide, approximately 29,000 children die from preventable causes like malaria and measles.

It's just an abstract number, until you consider that every day you could fill every single seat of Jarry Park (The former Montreal Expos stadium) with it’s own dead body.

No matter what your position in society is, we are all very lucky to live in a country of wealth and plenty. Billions of people do not share that fortune.

Please take some time this year to consider a donation to UNICEF.

If you wait until Halloween, over 7,500,000 children will have died by then.

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Saturday, February 10, 2007

Valentine's Day is on the way

Sometimes you have to ask why bother?

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

TrimSpa Baby!

Anna Nicole Smith, former model and TrimSpa Inc. spokesperson, died today in her room at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino and Hotel in Hollywood, Florida, according to Hollywood Fire and Rescue. She was 39 years old.

Just two days ago, Anna Nicole Smith and the diet products company TrimSpa Inc. had been sued in a class-action lawsuit alleging their marketing of a weight loss pill is false or misleading.

At least she can now be with her son.

In other news …

The Food and Drug Administration yesterday announced its approval of sales of the weight-loss drug Xenical® without a prescription.

About half of patients in trials experienced gastrointestinal side effects, and studies have associated the prescription version of the drug with precancerous lesions of the colon.

Xenical, and the generic Orlistat, can also lead to significant inhibition of absorption of fat-soluble vitamins

Xenical is brought to you by Roche Pharmaceuticals. The same company that brought you “feel good” drugs like Accutane and Tamiflu.

Don’t worry … the FDA has found an iron clad way to make sure these OTC pills are not abused. The new drug would contain half the dose of Xenical prescription capsules.

I am quite sure young girls will not take twice as many capsules.


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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Together forever

Archaeologists in Italy have discovered a couple buried 5,000 to 6,000 years ago, hugging each other -- and they really are hugging.

Elena Menotti, who led the dig which found the couple, said she believes that the two are almost certainly a man and a woman. However, that needs to be confirmed. She also assumes that they died young, because their teeth were mostly intact and not worn down.

In my scientific opinion, the fact that they were hugging after all this time, means the guy always put the cap back on the toothpaste.

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Monday, February 05, 2007

Scooter has cooties ... no backsies!

George Bush has long maintained that he was unaware of attacks by any member of his administration against former ambassador Joseph Wilson.

However, copies of handwritten notes by Vice President Dick Cheney, introduced at trial by defense attorneys for former White House staffer Lewis "Scooter" Libby, would appear to implicate George W. Bush in the Valerie Plame CIA Leak case.

Cheney had written "not going to protect one staffer (Karl Rove) and sacrifice the guy (Scooter Libby) that was asked to stick his head in the meat grinder because of incompetence of others"

However, when Cheney wrote these notes, he had originally written "this Pres." instead of "that was.” The words "this Pres." were crossed out and replaced with "that was," but are still clearly legible in the document.

During cross-examination Tuesday morning, David Addington was asked specific questions about Cheney's notes and the reference to President Bush. Addington, former counsel to the vice president, was named Cheney's chief of staff - a position Libby had held before resigning.

"Can you make out what's crossed out, Mr. Addington?" Wells asked, according to a copy of the transcript of Tuesday's court proceedings.

"It says 'the guy' and then it says, 'this Pres.' and then that is scratched through," Addington said.

"OK," Wells said. "Let's start again. 'Not going to protect one staffer and sacrifice the guy ...' and then what's scratched through?" Wells asked Addington again, attempting to establish that Cheney had originally written that President Bush personally asked Libby to beat back Wilson's criticisms.

"T-h-i-s space P-r-e-s," Addington said, spelling out the words. "And then it's got a scratch-through."

"So it looks like 'this Pres.?'" Wells asked again.

"Yes sir," Addington said.

As the trial continues, there will not doubt be more surprises to come.

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Friday, February 02, 2007

Rebel without a bike ... for now.

This is the exact configuration of a Ural motorcycle that I would like ... minus that wussy windshield on the sidecar.

I think Peter might be buying himself a present this year.

It would be great for zooming around Shelter Island this summer.

Plus, big dogs and very beautiful women love to ride shotgun ... with their tongues hanging out*.

*This mainly pertains to the big dogs.

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