Les Enfants de Paris

For the birds

A study performed by a scientist at Keio University, and one of his graduate students, has found that pigeons are smarter than 3-year-olds.





However, the scientist concluded that the three-year olds are still a lot smarter than this turkey.

"Never work with kids or animals"

This was the first commercial I worked on as a member of the DGA.



It took a very long time for this to show up on the Internet.

Normally a job with young kids and animals can be an absolute nightmare. However, this job was really a breeze because of the excellent producer, John Ficalora and the exceptional 1st AD, Mark Romanski.

Turning on Jesus

It's no wonder that the little boy has his hands deep in his pockets.

Labors of Love

Last summer, I got a chance to 1st AD all five of the new commercials from the 2007 Mad Croc campaign.

I enjoyed working on all of them, but I felt that these two were the stand out winners among the five.

This first spot was an absolute headache for me, and it was the very first one we shot. Both kids did a great job, but they skipped breakfast and were nervous.

Trying to get both of them to do the exact right action AND at the exact right time was nearly impossible. I was under the kitchen counter helping both kids hit their marks and cueing them to perform their actions.

In the end, I believe all the sweat and hard work paid off.

This one is by far my favorite.




The second one, was a major challenge for the art department, which was headed by Greg Kenney. His small team of guys needed to dress an ordinary house to look like a frat after party that would have put Dionysus and Caligula to shame.

I ask you ... What fraternity party is complete without sex dolls, clowns and beautiful Asian women?

My good friend Crawford Bidwell is in the eagle mascot costume.

He seriously deserved a medal of honor just for wearing that outfit in the extreme heat.



There is also another spot shot in an office that is good.

However, I firmly believe that it is Kate Gilligan's talent that makes the commercial work and not the agency's conceptual idea.

I'll wait for the Barabbas & Pontus Pilot playset

Early next month, 425 Wal-Mart chain stores nationwide will begin carrying faith-based toys from One2believe.

One2believe is an innovative toy company that is ministry partners with Focus on the Family and Opus Dei. They specifically target born again parents who would much rather that their kids play with a Samson action figure than a Spider-Man action figure.

These parents can buy the "big man" himself.





If money is no object for junior's Christmas, you can go out and purchase the entire nativity scene.




Or if you want two overly muscular guys wrestling with each other in a homo-erotic pose (Pictured below), you can get that too.

(They are actually Samson* and the nine foot Philistine warrior Goliath*)

*Sold separately and scale completely ignored.




In case you think they left the girls out, you are dead wrong.

For the girls they have created the P31 series. P31 dolls are specifically designed to provide a Bible-based, Christian alternative to other secular toys on the market (like the notorious Bratz Dolls), and to encourage young girls to pursue biblical womanhood.

This is the lovely and creepy Elizabeth P31**.




**Also available in the homegirl version.

Elisabeth stands 18 inches tall, has beautiful empty eyes, long blonde hair, and a contemporary Christian outfit. Elisabeth comes complete with an accessory kit, containing a Bible lesson (based on Proverbs 31:20), two cookie-cutters, and a cookie recipe (Pictured below). She also comes complete with a list of exciting activities like abstinence, getting on her knees and self flagellation.




But don't worry boys and girls.

For those of you who like to play with the other kind of toys ... Wal-Mart has provided another "back to school" sale just an aisle away***.





***Strict limit of 5 boxes per customer.