Porn vs. Reality

Situation One: "The Naughty Student 
Cindi". (An attractive female student with a large rack, walks up to the desk of her professor).



Porn:


Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?

Professor: Some students do extra credit work.

Cindi: (has sex with him)



Reality:


Cindi: Is there anything I can do to raise this grade?

Professor: Some students do extra credit work.

Cindi: Like what?

Professor: A seven- to ten-page report about the economic principles behind trade rules in a Micronesian country of your choosing.

Cindi: Oh. That makes sense and is an appropriate extra credit assignment for the course.





Situation Two: "The Hot Teacher
/Paul" (A student in his late twenties, walks up to the desk of his teacher, Professor Mandy, who has enormous breasts).



Porn:


Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?

Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.

Paul: How?

Professor Mandy: (fellates Paul)



Reality:


Paul: You wanted to see me after class, professor?

Professor Mandy: Yes. I need to test your performance.

Paul: How?

Professor Mandy: A series of tests based on the material covered in this course.

Paul: Could I just have sex with you instead?

Professor Mandy: (sues Paul)





Situation Three: "The Curious Freshman"
 (A very attractive freshman girl named Candi sits on a bed with her boyfriend, Brett). (Did I mention that Candi has boobs the size of overripe grapefruit? Well ... She does).



Porn:


Brett: Let's try anal sex.

Candi: Okay.



Reality:


Brett: Let's try anal sex.

Candi: No.

One week to Halloween

Don't wait until the last minute to pick up your costume.



You heard him ... He's got shit over here that he's trying to fucking sell.

Presidential Dreams

THIS IS WHAT BILL CLINTON DREAMED OF LAST NIGHT.




THIS IS WHAT GEORGE W. BUSH DREAMED OF LAST NIGHT.





I'll take Bill ... any day of the week.

No glove ... no love.

If you thought the STD situation was bad in the United States, take a look at the magazine ads that they have in the EU.

These are print ads (pictured below) that are being run in France.


**CLICK PICTURE TO ENLARGE**

And I thought everybody over there was having manage à trois.

C'est dommage!

Not to be outdone by their neighbors to the west ... Germany puts things into perspecive with their own ads.



**CLICK PICTURE TO ENLARGE**
(That means the ad ... you cheeky monkey.)

I would say that this brings all new meaning to the saying "unload a clip".

Wouldn't you?

Going down under?

What has Ralph Fiennes been up to these days?




Well ... Last week, the star of "The English Patient" and "Schindler's List" was caught leaving the same airplane lavatory as a 38-year-old Qantas flight attendant Lisa Robertson (Pictured below) during a long-haul flight, according to a report in the British paper The Sunday Telegraph.





Apparently Ralph was looking for some extra frequent flyer miles and his membership card into the "mile-high" club.

Last year, Fiennes ended his 10-year relationship with actress Francesca Annis after her discovery of his affair with 31-year-old Romanian singer Cornelia Crisan.

This recent tryst has sent sexuality experts into a tizzy. Some of them are now wondering if the actor may be exhibiting the signs of compulsive sexual behavior.

In my humble opinion, everybody needs to seriously lighten up.

I say “Good on ya Ralph … Good on ya mate!”

Equipped for Success

Circumcised men may be much less likely to contract HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, through sex with infected women, a new study says.

The results show that circumcised men in the study were 63 percent less likely than uncircumcised men to be infected.




Thanks Mom!

Thanks Dad!