And the loser is ...

(Drum roll please)

The 80th Academy Awards.




As it turned out, the really big story of the Academy Awards this year was Jennifer Garner "being groped" by Gary Busey on the red carpet.

I have never understood the Joan and Melissa Rivers red carpet BS.

This is not Fashion Week. It is a film awards show.

Furthermore ... PLEASE get over yourself Jenn. I know animal actors that have more range than you.

Despite all the stupidity outside the theatre, perhaps the greatest moments of idiocy came during the show itself.

A) Firstly, Miley Cyrus is not a film professional and therefore should not be a presenter. We all know why she was invited, but apparently it didn't work since this was the smallest television audience in the show's 80 year history. It turns out that the presence of Heidi Klum and Sean Combs didn't help much either.

B) If you are going to do a montage of past Oscar hosts ... you might want to include all of them.




C) Add to that ... actor Brad Renfro was noticeably left out of the Academy Awards "in memoriam" tribute to Hollywood figures who died in the past year. Why? ... Because he died of drugs?
God knows that has never happened in Hollywood before.

An Academy spokeswoman said: ""Unfortunately, there isn't enough room to include everyone."

A life is worth three seconds, bitch ... three damn seconds.

D) Then, what really killed me was that there was absolutely no mention of Roy Schieder's recent tragic death.

Not only was he an amazing actor, but he was a part of some of the most important films of all time.

"Jaws"
"All That Jazz"
"The French Connection"
"Marathon Man".

Fortunately, someone cut this nice tribute together on www.youtube.com.

I want my ... I want my ... I want my STD

In honor of this Valentine's Day, VH1 will show back to back episodes of their romantic blockbuster reality shows.

ROCK OF LOVE with Bret Michaels
(An aging 80s rock star seeks true love from among the best Long Island and New Jersey has to offer)



A SHOT AT LOVE WITH TILA TEQUILA
(A bi-sexual Myspace star pits men vs. women in a race for her favors)



I LOVE NY
(A reject from the Flavor of Love show attempts to find love, all while keeping her cigarette ash intact and her teeth lipstick free)



Do they sell condoms for television sets?

Perfectly Imperfect

Tonight was a great night for my two favorite American cities.

Miami still has the right to claim that their football team is the only one to EVER have a perfect season.

And the NY Giants got a chance to show that you can never count NYC out.

No one thought they could win this game ... except them.




That is what I love about New York.

We always root for the underdog.

We hate cocky SOBs.
(Bill Belichick didn't even have enough class to stay on the field until the very end of the game.)

And ...

We never EVER give up.

It goes to show that you should never screw with a New Yorker.

Don't feel bad New England ...

You will always be the best at something.