Thursday, May 18, 2006

Take me out to the ball game

"Baseball is a game played by idiots for morons" ~ F. SCOTT FITZGERALD.

From his bitter words, you would never know that the man died in 1940, long before the $8.75 beer or the $5.00 hot dog.

An old friend from college called me today and asked me if I wanted to go to the Yankee game. Since I was the only human being alive that had not seen last night's 9-0 comeback versus the Rangers, I decided I should go.

We went early because his nephew wanted the highly collectable Joe DiMaggio statuette they were giving out as a promotion. (There were only 18,000 of these limited edition puppies handed out folks!)

I was more than happy to go early, because a lot of the fun at Yankee stadium occurs long before the game begins. For example, we got to see this kid spend a nice afternoon bonding with his dad. (Pictured below)

Then we got to see him get hit in the head with a line drive foul ball during Yankee batting practice.

Then there was the kid who tried in vain to get the signatures of several Texas Ranger players. (Pictured below) After he failed to get their attention a half dozen times, he resorted to yelling at the top of his lungs. "How do you blow a 9-0 lead you boneheads?"

A few innings into the game, we saw one of the longest serving “beer guys” at Yankee Stadium. His name is Uncle Brucey (a.k.a. "Brewski") and I remember him from when my dad used to take me to games in the late 70s. He then proceeded to take most of my money. (Pictured below)

It was a perfect night for baseball. There was a slight breeze, no humidity to speak of, and most importantly fun was had by all.

In the end two very important things happened.

1) The Yankees won the game 4 to 3 over the Rangers, despite two bonehead fielding plays by Robison Cano

2) The Red Sox lost 4 to 3 to the Baltimore Orioles.

That put the Yankees back in first place by half a game.

I guess F. Scott Fitzgerald must have been a Red Sox fan.
After all, he was alive in 1918 when they traded away Babe Ruth.

I have a feeling I am going to hear it for this blog post … but then again … GO YANKEES!


Blogger anne altman said...


What team is responsible for the biggest post-season collapse in baseball history?

10:59 AM  
Blogger smartypants said...

Ooh! I know! I know!!

12:12 PM  
Blogger matt said...

This post is appropriate. The Yankees do represent "so much trouble in the world".

1:25 PM  
Blogger Peter Matthes said...

Let me guess.

The Yankees?

3:38 PM  
Blogger anne altman said...

right you are, peter! wasn't it great?

are you the one whole stole my 2004 World Champion Red Sox doormat?

it cost $40 from Bed Bath n Beyond you know!

5:00 PM  
Blogger Shadowspun said...

Sorry, Peter, I have to chime in: Go Sox!

5:06 PM  
Blogger anne altman said...

i'll bash your yanks and-- same sentence-- sit in those seats you had last night any damn day.

today would have been a great day!


5:17 PM  
Blogger Peter Matthes said...

I'm rubbing my soiled feet on it as we speak.

You are the only woman I know that is crazy enough to go to Yankee stadium with a Red Sox jersey and cap on ... AND THEN sit in the bleachers. They don't call them creatures for nothing.

Do you have life insurance?

5:26 PM  
Blogger Peter Matthes said...

It was a day game today.

You will be happy to hear that the Yankees lost. Now it is raining because the Gods are crying.

The question then remains. Is it the great seats, or the guy in the seat next door?
Would Anne go to the game with Bigfoot from Matt's kitchen if the seats were really good?
Or ... does she want to go to a game with me?

5:54 PM  
Blogger anne altman said...

are you hairy?

6:13 PM  
Blogger Peter Matthes said...

Is that the deal breaker dammit?

6:19 PM  
Blogger smartypants said...

Deal Breaker

6:36 PM  
Blogger Dreamlover said...

Whenever I think of the yankee's, I think of George constanza, I guess that tells you how much I like baseball, haha

8:25 PM  
Blogger grumpygirl said...

why no pics of you, peter, at the game?

9:33 PM  
Blogger Peter Matthes said...

I was taking the pictures.

10:44 PM  
Blogger anne altman said...

furry, eh?

alright, who has better seats, you or BigFOot?

12:00 AM  
Blogger anne altman said...

smartypants, i admit it: i've hung my real woman status out to dry on a few occasions

12:01 AM  
Blogger Peter Matthes said...

I'm not very furry. My picture just makes me look that way. It's not like I look like Robin Williams for Christ's sake.

I get different seats each time I go. It's more fun that way, plus you have to kill someone to get season tickets. My favorite is between home and first in the Field Box or MVP section.

I have a lot of friends who get corporate tickets and they call me when they have a no show. Just like last night.

Anne, are you confessing that you date Yankee fans? I know for a fact that Smartypants wouldn't kick Derek Jeter out of bed.

12:23 AM  
Blogger anne altman said...

i had sex with derek jeter in his pinstripes at yankee stadium and i would do it again.

9:52 AM  
Blogger smartypants said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:53 AM  
Blogger smartypants said...

Dating someone and kicking them out of bed are entirely separate issues.

10:55 AM  
Blogger matt said...


The important thing here is that Peter got to see some kid get pegged in the head by a foul ball. Life doesn't get much more awesome than that.

11:09 AM  
Blogger anne altman said...

f. scott fitzgerald was a drunk who poached his wife's material, passed it off as his own, drove her insane, and let her die in a mental hospital fire.


12:28 PM  
Blogger matt said...

Maybe she's that girl that James Taylor was singing about.

2:16 PM  
Blogger anne altman said...

I thought the important thing here is that I was possibly going to the Yankee game be it with Big Foot or Hairy Peter, Matt! Don't cock block me!

6:23 PM  
Blogger matt said...

It will have to be Peter. Bigfoot doesn't like crowds (that's why it's an Expos fan).

8:31 PM  
Blogger smartypants said...

Bigfoot is Clearly Canadian.

8:32 PM  
Blogger Peter Matthes said...

Carly Simon was the girl that James Taylor was singing about. They used to live together in my building on the 6th floor when I was a kid.

Why do I get the feeling that Bigfoot is winning this?

8:43 PM  
Blogger anne altman said...


9:53 PM  
Blogger Peter Matthes said...

A) You never said the word.

B) They won't let me into the Opus Dei headquarters. They beat me with ropes.

C) The supermarket that is open all night, on 3rd and 32nd, only has the lemon, peach and raspberry tea mix.

What does "L" stand for?

11:08 PM  
Blogger anne altman said...


As in the Yanks!

If only I could caffeinate in the p.m., but it's against the rules here at ye olde opus dei-o

dei-ay ay ohhhhhh

day light come and me want to go home....

11:23 PM  

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