One toasted lemon poppy please!

DALLAS (May 27) – Ian Walker (Below left) and Joseph Tellini (Below right) have been charged with delivering marijuana-spiked muffins to a teachers lounge in a senior prank that sent 18 people to the hospital and triggered an FBI and terrorism investigation.




When Lake Highlands High School employees ate the muffins, they began complaining of nausea, lightheadedness and headaches. Employees began to get suspicious when the 86-year-old receptionist Rita Greenfield couldn’t stop giggling and had to be taken to the hospital.

The FBI came to the school to test for a possible chemical or biological attack. The joint terrorism task force found that terrorism was not involved (These guys are good), but they determined that the muffins contained marijuana. They also turned up a surveillance video of the boys delivering the ganja muffins.




Apparently Bin Laden has had many plans to taint the food supply of this country with dangerous levels of reefer. However, his plans seem to involve bagels so as to ensure Jews as a heavily affected group.

Ian Walker and Joseph Tellini were each charged with five felony counts of assault on a public servant, each of which carries penalties of two to 10 years in prison.

So … rest easy good Americans. These guys might still be free as birds. However, the next time you step foot on a plane, or make your way to the top of a skyscraper for that morning meeting, there is one thing you can count on. The muffins you will encounter are safe and FBI approved.

I am starting to think that when Bush and Cheney said there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, they must have meant muffins. Perhaps they were right, and Saddam just ate them.